my need for quality content is vast
This week: What/If, Narcos, and a BBC sitcom with (CORRECTION) Andy Samberg?!
Hi hi!
We have to start today with some sad news. My friend Kaitlyn let me know that NBC rudely canceled AP Bio, which is a true shame because it was a great show. I highly recommend watching Seasons 1 and 2 on Hulu before NBC takes them down. IDK if they will but do it fast because they might.
Miss you already.
On to the matter of spoilers from last week. Two darling people shared their thoughts:
There's no such thing [as spoilers], unless the thing hasn't come out, but I also believe in warnings, because everyone watches things differently and it's best to not be actively shitty to other people. - Nick Bond
Omg can’t get past the first paragraph cause I hate spoilers! Maybe tell me WHICH shows are gonna be spoiled so I know if I can continue. - Amber Jamieson
Thank you Nick and Amber for convincing me that everyone deserves a choice on whether or not to know specific plot details of a particular show. So from now on, I’ll alert you via this text treatment if there’s a spoiler ahead. That way, you get to decide if you want to keep reading or skip to the next section. How’s that sound?
Please also share A Waste Of Time with someone you think is cute and encourage them to subscribe. Maybe bribe them with ice cream. I’d personally do anything for some alfajores.
Let’s get started.
Here’s what I watched last week - the good, the bad, and the embarrassing:
Friday, June 21
Late Night With Seth Meyers did another installment of “Day Drinking,” this time with Rihanna and it is a true delight. I watched it twice in a row and recommend you do the same immediately. Below is my favorite part.
Ri simultaneously recording AND guiding Seth’s shot.
Where to watch: Hulu or right here
Saturday, June 22
I finished that Rihanna episode of Late Night and Aubrey Plaza was on promoting some new Chucky movie she’s in where instead of being an evil doll, Chucky is…in the cloud? I don’t get it either but they brought up the excellent knife barrette Aubrey wore to the premiere. Unfortunately, it’s back-ordered. I’m also not sure it’s worth $32 but if I do buy it, expect me to wear it to your wedding. Should I though? Please help me make this important life choice.
The perfect accessory for protesting the wedding industrial complex.
Late Saturday night, I got through maybe half an episode of What/If before falling asleep on the couch. This show continues to be capital B Bad but then I read in a TV-focused Facebook group that there’s a “twist” and it weirdly made me determined to see if I could stomach this crap pile long enough to find out what the twist is.
Where to watch: for Late Night - Hulu, for What/If - Netflix.
Sunday, June 23
I woke up 5:00 am with a hangover headache and watched more What/If while waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in. When I woke back up at a normal hour, I continued watching it.
At some point, there was only one episode left so I watched that too.
I’m not saying I regret binging this show but if there was a way to invoice Netflix for those 10 hours, I would. This entire season a big ole’ Waste Of Time™️ because I enjoyed nothing about it except Renée Zellwegger’s ham-fisted smirk, which is present on her very Botoxed face 95% of her time she is on screen. I genuinely kept waiting for it to get better, to give me one redeeming nugget. But it never did. My eternal optimism will be my downfall.
What/If spoilers here. Scroll to the next photo to avoid them.
Have you seen the J.Lo movie Second Chance? It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever watched. And in theaters, none the less. In it, there’s a whiplash reveal that twists the whole movie into a subtly pro-life argument. If you’ve seen that, then you’ll scratch the surface of the the twist is on What/If. The soap opera version is much more bizarre and unrealistic, of course. If you haven’t, email me - I’ll just tell you what happens. I sincerely hope they don’t make another season of this show.
(CORRECTION) Andy Samberg here, telling you it’s safe to read again.
When I came home from visiting PS1 with my friend Amber (from above talking about spoilers, who also writes this very informative Better Have My Money financial newsletter. Ahem…subscribe!) I wanted something new to watch that was light-hearted but not totally dumb so I started Season 1 of Cuckoo and can safely say it is one of those things. The British sitcom features (CORRECTION) Andy Samberg as a lifelong backpacker who marries a girl on her gap year in Thailand and returns to live in her small English town. It seems weird I had never heard of this before.
A little research reveals that Cuckoo was the first thing (CORRECTION) Samberg did after leaving Saturday Night Live in 2012. He’s only in Season 1 of the BBC production; likely because Brooklyn 99 launched in September 2013 and he went back to the States to film that. For Season 2 of Cuckoo, Tyler Lautner (of Twilight fame) replaces (CORRECTION) Samberg. It is not as good so I stopped after Episode 2.
Then it got late so I went to bed NOT watching Big Little Lies. But once I washed my face, flossed, brushed my teeth, and put on 75 essences, serums, lotions, and creams (in that order), I decided to fall asleep to the light fare of Jane The Virgin.
Speaking of Jane, please read Becca Andrews’ interview with TV critic Emily Nussbaum in Mother Jones, which includes a lot about this completely perfect show. Nussbaum has a new book out called I Like to Watch: Arguing My Way Through the TV Revolution in which she champions female-fronted television and the invisible labor these shows do to advance the landscape for women’s narratives:
“There’s a level at which the entire book is created because of Jane the Virgin,” Nussbaum tells me. She likes the show so much that she’s watched the series through twice—once in real time, and again with her children, in preparation for the show’s fifth and final season. Her essay on Jane bristles with outrage that the world has taken “all this perfection for granted.” Nussbaum writes that the show is a “joyful manifesto” against the very idea of a “guilty pleasure,” a “bright-pink filibuster exposing the layers in what the world regards as shallow.”
But Jane was doomed to a niche audience, having been derived from art forms traditionally coded “female”—not just the telenovela but the soap opera, the rom-com, reality television, and the romance novel. The title is a woman’s name, followed by the word “virgin.” Jane the Virgin never stood a chance of being anything but a “guilty pleasure.”
I have long said that Jane The Virgin is a perfect show. It feels glorious to be right.
Very mild Jane The Virgin spoilers ahead.
This episode felt like classic Jane. It was all about the family navigating their mild dilemmas, everyone got along, and at the end, the Villanueva women are all laughing together on the porch. I’m not even sure that’s exactly how this episode ends but it FEELS like it. Cue warm and fuzzy feelings for all; which probably also means it’s all going to go to hell for Jane from here.
Where to watch: For What/If & Cuckoo - Netflix, for Jane The Virgin - CW.com
Monday, June 24
I came home from seeing Lucius open for Jackson Browne and caught up on Big Little Lies. My wish for them to focus on fewer ladies did not come true but this episode did convince me that my new favorite character is the therapist because her tolerance for bullshit is exactly zero and honestly - #goals.
In lieu of spoiling anything for you this week, I’m sharing a photo of Shailene Woodley’s hot boyfriend.
HeloOoOoo Ben Volavola.
Ok except I really must mention how fun it is to watch Laura Dern whisper-yell “Don’t talk to her!” at her husband or yell-yell “I will buy a fucking polar bear for every kid in this school!” at the principal. Now I’m done.
Where to watch: HBO
Tuesday, June 25
I watched Claws when I got home Tuesday because sometimes between episodes I genuinely miss the characters. Is that weird? Don’t tell me.
Claws is the best of summer television because it’s ridiculous, outlandish, and still supremely feminist. If you haven’t started the series, get your life right by watching Seasons 1 and 2 on Hulu.
Claws spoilers here. Scroll to Wednesday to avoid them.
When I wrote last week that someone on Desna’s team was going to become a victim of her careless ambition, I didn’t think it would happen in the very next episode. But here we are. Roller has been kidnapped. It’s unclear who took him though the bribe-accepting governor with a penchant for being tased and the fake (?) Native American casino co-owner and his asthmatic wife who are not above torture and full-on murder are all likely suspects. I’m also not over the PG-13 sex party the crew attended or how incredible Niecy Nash looked in that see-through mesh jumpsuit.
Meanwhile, Quiet Anne continues to be the among the most dynamic characters on television and I’m obsessed with how Judy Reyes (aka Carla from Scrubs, who is also sometimes on Jane The Virgin!) plays her to perfection.
ILU, Quiet Anne.
Before bed, I also watched the previous night’s episode of Late Night with Seth Meyers and it is possible no one has ever told a more boring story on late night television than Olivia Munn did while talking about her family trip to London. To be clear: The story itself is not boring. But the way she tells it would turn a skydiver catatonic.
Where to watch: for Claws - TNT.com, for Late Night - Hulu
Wednesday, June 26
After picking up an absolutely absurd amount of leafy greens from my CSA (please come over for a salad!) I made a pared down version of Ottolenghi’s Royal Potato Salad and then had a lot of dishes to wash. My apartment is small and there is no dishwasher so I comfort myself by watching TV on my laptop while doing them.
After stupidly suffering through the trash heap that is What/If, I wanted something relatively smart to complement my sudsy sojourn. Since whatever I picked would not get all of my attention, I also wanted it to be slightly fun too. This is how I landed on Narcos. The first episode had me absolutely hooked and the voiceover is perfect when you’re only semi paying attention.
I watched two more episodes while trying on bathing suits for an upcoming trip. (I fell for an Instagram ad recently and bought this one from Nasty Gal because 1: I ❤️ Tara Lynn and 2: after 14 years, I’m ready to give the string bikini another chance. Hot Girl Summer for real.)
Just a boy, standing in front of an army officer, asking him to let me smuggle cocaine…
Back to Narcos, I love their DEA protagonist Steve (Boyd Holbrook), who looks like Alexander Skarsgård if you squint. He also sounds like someone very familiar and I’ve been wracking my brain to figure out who this guy’s voice reminds me of, but can’t quite pinpoint it. HELP!
Wagner Moura plays Escobar with such humanity you almost forget he’s a homicidal monster. And Pedro Pascal (below, left) is hot as shit so yes, I will keep watching.
It’s like True Detective except most of this really happened.
It’s also exciting to know there are 3 full seasons PLUS a Mexico spin-off because my need for quality content is great and I like knowing there are a lot of episodes ahead.
Where to watch: Netflix
Thursday, June 27
Thursday night I went to another Title boxing class. This time with friend of the newsletter Jae. I also broke in my new gloves because community boxing gloves are seriously gross and no amount of washing your hands after class makes the smell of other people’s sweat + Lysol go away.
I came home with grand plans to catch up on Grown-ish but just watched more Narcos instead. I’m now up to the part where Escobar has the presidential candidate killed because he wants to go home to Colombia. There is no spoiler warning for this because it happened in history. No spoiler warnings for history, my friends.
Where to watch: Netflix
And that’s all she wrote, folks. Stay tuned for next week’s TV diary where *fingers crossed* I will have finally seen John Wick.
xoxo,
-delia
Keanu Korner
I thoroughly enjoyed this illustration of Keanu reimagined as Disney’s Prince Charming by artist Crystal Ro and hope you will too.
Ro drew his beautiful face on even more Disney princes right here.
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