(CORRECTION) Andy Samberg
This week: all white men aren't the same, another Keanu Korner, & Derry Girls.
Hi friends!
Welcome back to my weekly-ish TV diary newsletter. If you’re new here, I’m so happy to have you! If you’re not, I’m equally happy to have you. Please share A Waste Of Time with someone you think is cute and tell them to subscribe. Maybe bribe them with pool access. Or offer to put sunscreen on their back.
We also need to discuss my error last week when I called Andy Samberg “Adam Sandler” while talking about Cuckoo. While I am aware that all white men aren’t the same, my brain conflated these two white Jewish comedians who were both on SNL, sing on the side, and have the exact same initials. They even played father and son in a movie once so you can see my mistake. Won’t happen again.
Let’s get started.
Here’s what I watched last week - the good, the bad, and the embarrassing:
Friday, June 28
Last Friday, I watched all 4 episodes of Under A Rock With Tig Notaro which is her new web series with Funny Or Die (also sponsored by Amazon - see if you can spot the Alexa sponcon). The premise is that Tig doesn’t know who celebrities are so during the ~11ish minute episodes, she has to figure out who her guest is.
It’s pretty funny and I thoroughly enjoyed Julie Bowen realizing that she’s not quite as famous as she’d thought when Tig earnestly asks if she’s “a podcaster?”
My favorite part by far was learning that Melissa Joan Hart owns 4 Picassos!!! She then goes on to admit she actually owns a heck of a lot of very famous art. Turns out, that Sabrina The Teenage Witch fortune is for real. I also didn’t know that OG Clarissa Explains It All is from New York originally and that her dad used to be a lobster wholesaler. He is now an oyster breeder. Fascinating.
“Alexa, who is Melissa Joan Hart?”
I then ended up not leaving the house all day and instead just watched Narcos until about midnight. I finished Season 1 and started season 2.
Where to watch: For Under A Rock - Funny Or Die or right here, for Narcos - Netflix.
Saturday, June 29
No television was watched this day but I did listen to an episode of Who? Weekly, a podcast where Bobby Finger & Lindsey Weber talk about “everything you need to know about the celebrities you don't.” It’s great. I’m a fan. Check it out.
Where to listen: Spotify (or wherever you like to listen to your podcasts)
Sunday, June 30
I woke up early Sunday morning and took advantage of the extra time by drinking coffee in bed and watching Jane The Virgin. The part where Jane and Rafael are at the church and it starts to rain, there’s a person who walks past the door outside holding an umbrella. It is never mentioned again but I keep thinking that will come back to haunt us. Do you think so? Am I nuts? Let me know.
Then I put on the past two episodes of Grown-ish while doing dishes because I like to know what the kids are up to these days and this show does a good job of making me feel simultaneously old and hip.
I half paid attention to Bridget Jones’ Baby while folding the clothes from my pile-of-clothes chair and starting to pack for an upcoming trip. If you haven’t seen it, it’s one of the better long-awaited sequels to a beloved franchise out there. If you have seen it, can you figure out who her baby’s father is? Please tell me because I still don’t know!
Plus, Emma Thompson is in it and we stan.
After that, I watched one more episode of Narcos while eating lunch. More of Season 2 seems to be in Spanish which means I have to pay attention to the subtitles and can’t just have it playing in the background. Three levels of Fluent City beginner Spanish will only get you so far and fully understanding Narcos without the subtitles is not it.
At some point, I watched Jo Koy’s new stand-up special “Comin’ In Hot” on Netflix which is actively fine. There were a few times I genuinely laughed out loud - mostly when he’s talking about his mom. I am here for your immigrant mom jokes because I have one myself and they are all nuts in similar AND unique ways (hi Mom!).
Where to watch: for Jane The Virgin - CW.com, for Grown-ish - Hulu, for Bridget Jones’ Baby, Narcos, and Jo Koy: Comin’ In Hot - Netflix
Monday, July 1
Monday morning, I watched Claws and was very tense, then relieved with how things turned out.
I tried the Mike Epps comedy special “Only One Night” on Netflix while doing the dishes but I turned it off after about 10 minutes because the jokes were lazy and offensive. He talks about calling security because fat women tried to come on to him backstage. He calls them “circles” and “cheerios” and I am extremely not here for some washed up comedian fat-shaming strangers for laughs.
Monday night, I watched a few episodes of Derry Girls - a sitcom based on teens being teens in 1992 North Ireland. An article in the New Yorker calls them “wholesome teenage dirtbags” and I have to agree. It’s equal parts ridiculous and heart-warming and I imagine that if you went to Catholic school, this would really knock your socks off.
It’s also similar to Moone Boy, which is truly the most delightful show and one of the first Hulu original series - it’s based on primo cutie Chris O’Dowd’s childhood growing up in Ireland. Highly recommend. Please watch.
Where to watch: for Claws - TNT.com, for Derry Girls - Netflix, for Moone Boy - Hulu
Tuesday, July 2
I watched a couple episodes of House Hunters before bed while spending the night at a friend’s mom’s house in White Plains. The first one was with a couple buying a condo on the beach in Ecuador and perfectly fine and now I want to go to Ecuador. The second episode, however, was maybe the most irritating House Hunters I have EVER seen.
The couple was living in Atlantic Beach and wanted a much bigger house for themselves and their two kids. They definitely didn’t want to move back to the city and their budget was $1 million. Meanwhile, the Worst Realtor Ever (this guy) kept showing them houses that were $300,000 - $500,000 ABOVE their budget. He even showed them an apartment in Manhattan, a thing they actively did. not. want.
It was beyond infuriating. He was also pretty freaking rude to the wife and I still can’t believe it aired.
Where to watch: HGTV
Wednesday, July 3
Before driving up to the Catskills for the Fourth of July, my friend convinced me to watch the first episode of The Hills: New Beginnings. You should know I did not watch the original series in high school because teenage me was extremely cool and kept herself busy with highbrow programming like Will & Grace and PBS documentaries about the British royal family.
Of course I was aware of the drama even then and now having seen the premiere of the reboot, I can’t stop thinking about how sad Audrina is now, how truly horrid Justin Bobby has always been, how many face fillers literally every single one of them has, and how much Brody Jenner clearly hates his life and definitely isn’t ready to have children!
It’s a mess and I will probably watch more of it, especially since they hyped a messy af confrontation between Perez Hilton and Mischa Barton (whom I once saw having brunch in Williamsburg about 6 years ago).
Justin Bobby is The Worst™.
Once in the Catskills, I spent all day at the pool and when the sun set, my friend put on Pokemon: Detective Pikachu. I was excited to watch it because I heard the ending is insane. Unfortunately, I fell asleep 15 minutes in so thanks to everyone who told me what the twist was the next morning. (Hint: it’s very much along the lines of what Darth Vader tells Luke except with Pikachu.)
Where to watch: for The Hills - MTV, for Pokemon: Detective Pikachu - ???
Thursday, July 4
We spent all day at the pool again and at night watched We Are Your Friends. I fell asleep about 20 minutes in or however long into the movie they go to the festival in Las Vegas.
Where to watch: HBO
Friday, July 5
We spent all day at the pool again and at night watched the original John Wick. I fell asleep about 10 minutes in and fortunately never had to see what happens to the puppy.
Everything’s ok, right?
Where to watch: rentable on iTunes, Amazon, Google, etc.
Saturday, July 6
When I got home Saturday night, I ordered Thai and watched Big Little Lies, Divorce, Late Night with Seth Myers (both post-debate live episodes), and Grown-ish.
I am extremely happy Divorce is back. It’s the HBO dramedy series from brilliant Sharon Horgan (watch her Amazon show Catastrophe) with Sarah Jessica Parker that could easily be a Sex And The City spin-off if Carrie decided to get married, move upstate, and have a couple of kids. Liz Tuccillo, who wrote on SATC from 2002-2004 (and created He’s Just Not That Into You), is also a writer on this so you can easily see Carrie parallels in SJP’s character, Francis.
Plus, Molly Shannon is SENSATIONAL.
I’m also obsessed with the fashion on the show because it’s modeled after one of my absolute favorite movies from the ‘70s: An Unmarried Woman.
This season, Francis has a new boyfriend and it’s the same boyfriend from Girlfriend’s Guide To Divorce, aka TV darling James Lesure. Nice to see this man has found a niche casting for himself as the hot middle-aged boyfriend of recently-divorced moms.
Miss you, Coach Mike.
I also just learned that Season 3 will be the last for Divorce so even more reason to see how it plays out.
Where to watch: for Big Little Lies and Divorce - HBO, for Late Night and Grown-ish - Hulu
What to watch next: Catastrophe - Prime, Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce - Netflix
And that’s all she wrote, folks. Stay tuned for next week’s TV diary where we WILL continue discussing the ridiculousness on The Hills.
xoxo,
-delia
Testimonials
I’ve just watched the first Gentleman Jack after a surprisingly enjoyable viewing of Juliet, Naked. - Dee Carroll
Tell me the What/If twist please. - Margot Judge
100% starting Claws this week because of your review. - Bobby Pappadeas-Chmura
If you write nice things about the newsletter, I will shamelessly share them here.
Keanu Korner
This week, I discovered that Keanu plays the doctor/therapist character in the Netflix original movie To The Bone that stars Lilly Collins as a young woman struggling with an eating disorder. I do not know this because I watched the movie, but rather because Netflix autoplays trailers when you’re browsing online; literally whenever your mouse lands on any(fucking)thing. Now that I have been made aware that Keanu is in this movie, the chances that I will watch it one weekend afternoon while avoiding my errands are considerably higher.
The category is: “concerned therapist.”
Final Thoughts
Yes, I am available for hire so if you want me to write something for your publication, please get in touch.
Remember to forward this email to someone who’s also watching Divorce and tell them to subscribe.
You can tweet about this newsletter and tag me.
Or follow me on Instagram; that’s where I spend all my time anyway.
Don’t forget to share the subscription link so people know where to find #theart.
And I love attention so please email me what you’re watching, what you liked, and definitely what you thought was A Waste Of Time.